The End of an Era

I haven’t been into blogging lately.  I do this every year around the holidays.  I think I get so consumed with all that’s going on around me I just don’t make blogging about it a priority.  Needless to say I’m a bit behind. 

For the past 3 years I have served as Primary President of our ward.  In some ways it seems like just yesterday that I was called and completely overwhelmed and shocked.  In other ways it does feel like it was a long time ago.  Sawyer was in Nursery and Libby wasn’t even in utero yet.   Our Primary Program was in October and I was pretty ready to be done. I was feeling burned out and just ready for change.  Even though I had been pretty vocal about being ready to be released with my counselors, it came as a complete surprise when I was released that very Sunday after the program.  I thought I would be so happy and free but a feeling of sadness came over me and it really hit me that it was over.  The next Sunday when I was officially released I bore my testimony to the kids in primary and told them all how much I love them.  It was really hard to say goodbye. I had no idea it would be so heartbreaking.  We have a small primary, about 20 kids, so we are very close and I feel like I know each child individually.  What really pulled on my heart strings was when Primary was over a couple boys who had been somewhat challenging over the last 3 years came to me and hugged and me and told me they’d miss me.  By that time I was a basket case and just wanted to go home and cry some more.   The next few Sundays were just plain weird, I felt weird going to the Primary room to drop my kids off.  I felt really strange in Relief Society and Sunday School, like I didn’t belong.  Time has passed and I’ve gotten used to the change and I quite like it.  When I go to church I am spiritually fed and feel so uplifted, I love it!  Being with the children was uplifting and there are plenty of moments where the spirit could be felt but lets face it, most of your Sunday is spent making sure everything is getting taken care of and dealing with logistics.  I remember shortly after getting called telling my dad, “I feel like I’m working on Sundays, I thought it was supposed to be a day of rest!”  Now it truly is a day of rest and I love it. It is nice when I see kids in the halls and they stop to say hi, or when I can hear their angel voices singing while I’m in Relief Society, come next Fall I will miss all the preparations for the primary program and sitting on the front pew smiling and taking it all in.  My time has ended and I am ready to move on to different things.  I will always cherish those 3 years that I was privileged to work with amazing women and be part of those children’s lives.